Counting My Many Blessings...

I have been realizing today how much Heavenly Father loves me.

Brent and I met with Brent's bishop today. Brent is still fairly new in the ward and has been gone a lot visiting other wards so he doesn't know his bishop very well, but it was such a good experience. He talked to us about building the foundations of a good relationship - and as he talked, I realized just how remarkable my relationship with Brent is. It was like going down a checklist! For example:

Able to talk about things beyond the superficial level - check
Studying the gospel together - check
Getting to know each other better than anyone else - check in progress!

There were more but you get the general idea. I am so blessed to have found such a noble, remarkable young man.

I also know, however, that with the good comes opposition. I am continuously working to build a spiritual defense against whatever Satan might think of throwing at me! Prayer, Scriptures, Temples, Church, Fasting, and things like keeping busy, being humble, practicing patience, and continuing to learn all I can - this is the defense I am trying to build. This is what is most important in my life. Coming unto Christ, becoming like him, and putting away my natural tendencies. I am so grateful to have this knowledge - to have the Gospel in my life.

I am so blessed :)

Faith, Hope, and Love

Who knew that being in a relationship could be so scary! I've struggled a lot with trusting myself and my judgment the past few days - the whole "What if I'm wrong? What if I'm just listening to my feelings instead of the Spirit? What if I imagined all that peace and joy?" scenario - yeah, that's me.

But last night, I found an awesome quote! Hooray for awesome quotes :)

"Once there has been divine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts.

"After you have gotten a message, after you have paid the price to feel his love and hear the word of the Lord, 'go forward.' Don't fear, don't vacillate, don't quibble, don't whine.... God will provide the means and power to achieve that purpose. Trust in that eternal truth. If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, he will provide the way for you to accomplish it. That is true of joining the Church. It is true of getting an education, of going on a mission, or of getting married."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

So what should I do? Well, my patriarchal blessing talks about having faith in myself. So I'm going to keep praying, going to the temple, studying scriptures, going to church, and occasionally, fasting. And I'm going to keep moving forward in faith!

Maybe I Should Use My Blog After All...

So when I started my blog last fall, I thought it would be fun... but as you can tell, I posted twice and then stopped. I realized that my life as a single twenty-something woman in the workforce was pretty non-exciting and figured blogs really were for married-with-kids girls who wanted to talk about their wonderful husbands and children. It's a lame excuse, I know, but I stopped blogging.

Until now.

Why shouldn't I blog about my life? I LOVE my life! Sure, I don't have any anecdotes about the latest thing my two-year-old did - but who cares! I will have a family someday - I have been promised that - but the moment that happens does not mark the moment my life begins!

So here's my life at the moment...

I work full-time at the Beehive Clothing Manufacturing plant in American Fork. It is the hardest job I have ever had (since I am not yet a mother) but it has also been one of the best things I could have possibly chosen to do. I have been humbled. I have been taught to pray more earnestly than ever. I have been shown true grace - an enabling power - every day when I somehow finish another eight hours of production work. I am reminded daily of the sacredness of the temple and the remarkable blessing I have of being endowed with knowledge and strength. And so my job is difficult and even makes me cry in desperation sometimes - but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have moved so much during the last year - but it has helped me evaluate my possessions and slowly get rid of the things I don't need. It has shown me how immeasurably blessed I am with so many comforts and perks. Whenever I start to complain, I take a step back. Who am I to complain? I have the gospel, a wonderful family, a job with benefits, food, clothing, shelter, my own room, air conditioning, a good little car, music, books, modern medicine, a temple just five minutes from my house... who am I to complain? So I do my best not to!

And then last month, the biggest miracle of my life so far happened. I met Brent.



It shouldn't have even happened! I didn't intend to renew my subscription at LDSMingle.com for another month - it was a "mistake". I smile when I think about it. The prophets say that if we look for it, we will always see the Lord's hand in our lives. I couldn't agree more!

I have been afraid for years that I was just too damaged to fall in love - that I wouldn't be able to, or that I wouldn't find someone who could love me. I tried to have faith - again, I have been promised a good husband and children - but it just seemed so hopeless! Last year my mom told me that she knew I would get married "soon" - I would laugh and say "Mom! You have to DATE to get married! And you have to find a guy that wants to do something as basic as carry on a conversation with you before you can date!"

Well, as a brilliant song says, "Some things take faith. I know that's true." I prayed and prayed and prayed to be the person I should be, to know how to improve myself, to know how to be ready for my eternal companion, wherever he was, and to live my life in a way that I would be able to find him. I prayed to have good judgment. I prayed to know what was really important to me in the man I was looking for. I prayed for the ability to overcome my fears and to open myself to being loved again.

God hears my prayers!

Brent is the kindest man I have ever known. He sees past my flaws and loves me for who I am. He is a hard worker and a righteous priesthood holder. He is happy and upbeat. He is everything that is on the top of my "this is what is most important to me" list! AND, he's pretty dang good-looking if I do say so myself ;)

And so I say again - God hears and answers prayers.

Well, I need to get ready for church, so I will end this post with the words of comedic genius Brian Regan: "Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot!!!"

Atmosphere!

Okay, so my amazing friend took me out for my birthday last night (early - my birthday is on the 24th) and I can't believe how much she spoiled me. She took me to The Melting Pot in Salt Lake and then we stayed the night in the Swiss Family Robinson suite at Anniversary Inn. Holy Cow! It was so much fun and pretty much the best night ever :)

So here is my first hint for boys. I LOVE Atmosphere. I don't mean that I love the chemical composition of gaseous elements we all breathe each day - not that I don't appreciate the ability to breathe, or the fact that we still have breathable air... I'm getting sidetracked. I mean that I love it when places use ambiance and details to make you feel like you are somewhere else. Perfect example? Disneyland. I love Disneyland. They don't overlook a single detail. If you're wandering through Tomorrowland, you can be sure that even the drinking fountains will look futuristic. And waiting in line for rides? It's kind of a ride in and of itself! Well, Anniversary Inn is pretty similar. Just for an example, the Swiss Family Robinson suite has a waterfall/rock formation for the shower and jacuzzi. The bed is in a tree :) The walls are painted with murals of lush island scenery and a beach. Seriously, guys, if you want to woo me, take me somewhere with atmosphere. And when one of you decides to marry me, Just know that I would love a night at Anniversary Inn and a trip to Disneyland for our honeymoon.

"Women should come with instruction manuals..."

How many times do you hear people saying that the opposite gender should come with instructions? I hear it a lot. I say it a lot, for that matter! I do still wish I could have a "Guide to Guys" that was actually insightful (in other words, not just the typical "guys only think about one thing at a time, and it's usually, well, you know...") but I don't foresee this happening.

Truth be told, it would be impossible to write an instruction manual for women (or men) because we are all so entirely different. I'm sure there are some similarities that seem to fit a majority, but even then, the most important fact is overlooked: Everyone has a history, a paradigm, unique to themselves which motivates or influences every facet of their being.

I'm getting wordy. Sorry.

My point is this: I can't write an instruction manual for women. I CAN write an instruction manual for Carol Jean. If there is someone out there who wants to understand how I think, why I do what I do, and how to interact with me, this is probably going to be a pretty good reference.

In other words, if there is a guy out there wishing to woo me, he should probably read this :) Don't worry, it will contain interesting information for everyone else, too.

Happy Reading!